The Silence!
by KrisKenshin
Summary: Let the Games Begin! “Did you just say, ‘shenanigans’?” Gag, Fluff, Yaoi, Lemon, Paring: Roy x ED
1. Every…Last…!

**Author:** KrisKenshin  
**Pairing: **Roy x Ed  
**Type:** Gag, Fluff, Yaoi, Lemon  
**Rating:** NC-17 to R (for lots of foul language and graphic sexual situations)  
**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own, in any way, Fullmetal Alchemist! If I did we would still be watching new episodes, which would have ultimately ended up with Roy and Ed getting together in an overpoweringly FLUFFY way that would have lead to them constantly having SMEX in every possible situation, location, and POSITION!  
**WARNING:** If you DON'T like Yaoi (or also known as Gay relations, implied or sexually explicit, both of which WILL be included here) you should immediately press the BACK button and remove yourself from the situation that you are about to involve your retinas in, which of course could cause slight irritation and possible burning in some cases.

**Note:  
-R- **Roy's point of view  
**-E- **Ed's point of view  
_Italics _Roy or Ed's Thoughts depending on point of view

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**Chapter 1 ****– Every…Last…!**

**-R-**

It was eight o'clock in the evening and Roy was actually working diligently on his paperwork… for once.

The paper stacks waiting to be signed, so 'lovingly' organized by Riza earlier that morning, were a daunting fort all around the edge of his desk. On this day he couldn't even see over them unless he stretched up in his chair.

However at the moment he was thoroughly immersed in a field report, as a short nineteen year old blond strode into the office through the open door.

**-E-**

Glancing around and not immediately seeing anyone in the room, Ed flopped down onto the leather couch to his left with a soft swoosh of air, the barely audible sound covered by the persistent squeak of the overhead ceiling fan spinning innocently above him.

Immediately slumping, his left arm flopped on the armrest and the other was flung to the side along the back. His brought his leg up to snag over his left knee by the ankle and let his head fall back as he waited.

_I am fucking tired. That last lead the Colonel gave me had of course led to nothing important, that led to nothing I was interested in, that caused me nothing but trouble. I only hoped that for ONCE the Colonel has not heard all that had happened. I'm really not in the mood to listen to that Bastard drawl on and on about how I need to be more responsible and how military funding is not there so I can destroy as much property as possible just so they could have something to do. Because no matter what my point of view is on the matter, the military is not my own personal playground catering to my every whim._

_Yeah well, I know that! I can't help it if fate keeps walking up to me, grinning wolfishly and constantly flinging pooh in my face!_

_Yeah, MAYBE _I_ could have handled the situation better, but it's not my fault they fucking STAMPEEDED! How was I to know a camel could be spooked!? And sure after the camel freaked out it ran straight at the elephant, which made the horses start to run around, causing the second, third and FOURTH elephants to charge, spazzing out the trainer who started screeching at me at the top of his lungs like fingernails on a chalk board._

Physically cringing at the memory of that horrible man's voice, he closed his eyes trying to forget the whole incident.

…_Until of course the Bastard Colonel brings it back up and rubs it in my face._

He brought his right hand up, to cover his eyes and give them a good rub to ward off his exhaustion.

_Where is that bastard any way!? Hawkeye is going to riddle him with bullet holes with all that paperwork waiting for him on his desk._

_He's probably off flirting with some boobs and long legs._

_And I just want to go back to the dorms so I can shower and sleep for the next five years!_

…_Come to think of it, maybe it is ok if the Colonel gets murdered by his First Lieutenant, then I won't have to make my report._

Smiling to himself at the thought, he listened to the ceiling fan's incessant squeaking, Eyes still closed he let his arm fell back over the top of the couch as his mind began to wander.

**-R-**

Finishing the current report he was on, Roy quickly scribbled his signature at the bottom and placed it on the decidedly shorter stack of 'completed' papers. Mentally sighing, he begrudgingly pulling the next report off the closest pile, dropped his head back down and continued to read.

…_The boring details about even more boring people in an ever more boring town in the middle of Boringville!_

This time Roy sighed out loud.

**-E-**

_What was that!?_

Flinging his eyes open Ed raised his head and quickly scanned the office for anything out of the ordinary, ears straining to hear the slightest sound.

_Damned ceiling fan! Can't hear anything! How can the Bastard stand that thing? It never quits!! Just keeps squeaking and squeaking and SQUEAKING!!_

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!! DAMN IT!!" he screeched for all of Central to hear.

**-R-**

Papers went flying …EVERYWHERE!

Roy had jumped so violently at the close proximity of Ed's yell that he had flung his arms out, slamming them into the pristine towers of paperwork. He had then wrenched his hands back to his chest in hopes of catching his heart so he could calm the attack he was currently having!

_It almost looks like it's snowing. Granted it was snowing really large, rather square snow that will get me placed in the morgue with a bullet right between the eyes!_

His chest heaved as he looked down at his desk in abject horror!

_Every… Last…!_

Paper was scattered, the last pages drifting serenely down to rest peacefully on every flat surface in his office. Calming his breathing he quickly removed the look of terror that had jumped onto his face. He replaced it with the iciest glare in his arsenal and aimed it point blank at the offending blond.

_At least he has the decency to LOOK like he's about to be flame broiled!_

**-E-**

_Oh… Shit!_

_Shit!_

_Shit!_

_SHIT!_

"…Oh S-" Ed gasped.

"OH!? OH!! THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?" the Colonel roared, effectively cutting him off before he could finish vocalizing his 'oh so intelligent' response to the situation. The pitch of the Colonel's voice was achingly similar to the animal trainer's from earlier in the week. The Colonel's right hand had risen and his fingers were pressed so tightly together Ed thought that they were going to shatter bone.

_Wait a minuet…_

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM!?" he yelled glaring and hunching his shoulders.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?" he bellowed as sparks danced menacingly around the Colonel's gloved hands.

**-R-**

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE?!" Fullmetal barked again.

_What the…?_

"I'VE BEEN HERE ALL DAY FULLMETAL AND NOW BECAUSE OF YOUR RIDICULOUS ANTICS I WILL BE HERE ALL NIGHT AS WELL!!" he paused as he allowed a supremely evil smile creep across his face.

_No, I don't think I will stay here all night but I do know one short, yes, decidedly short, granted not as short as he used to be but still short, blond alchemist that will be staying and sorting ALL of these papers according to date before I come back into work tomorrow morning._

Continuing in a curt voice, "YOU, Fullmetal" he paused for emphasis, pointing his finger in a sharp jab, "are going to sort these files and have them in the EXACT order that my lovely First Lieutenant carefully organized for me just this morning, and then I want you to report back here tomorrow at 08:00 hours for your report that will be handed in TYPED with FULL details DWELLING on the particulars about how you managed to cause a STAMPEED and DESTROY half the town of Yuswell in the process. Do I make myself clear?" Roy's felt a familiar smug sense of triumph at the look on Fullmetal's face.

_Ha! Fullmetal looks like his eyes are gonna bug out of his head any second._

**-E-**

Ed's eyes were unquestionably bugging out of his head, as well as his lower jaw that was practically dragging on the hard tile floor at his feet.

His brain functions came to a screeching halt as he watched the Colonel snatch his keys out of his desk drawer, stand up and stroll out of the office, abandoning Ed who stared after him in astonishment as the squeaking fan gently fluttered papers throughout the office in his wake.

_I'm gonna have to have a long talk with fate one of these days about its obsession with pooh._

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**Thank you for reading, please comment, Cookies for Reviews!! - Shout out to readers in Sri Lanka, you Rock!! XD - KrisKenshin**


	2. No Good, Still Blurry

**Note:  
-R- **Roy's point of view  
**-E- **Ed's point of view  
_Italics _Roy or Ed's Thoughts depending on point of view

* * *

**Chapter 2 ****- No Good, Still Blurry**

**-E-**

Slowly and almost painfully his brain wretched back into gear and began to hum bitterly with fury.

_Stupid ceiling fan! …Stupid Bastard Colonel!_

_In what freaky, twisted alternate universe is it MY fault that the Smirking Bastard is a complete and utter spaz!?_

Stooping to gather the papers that were scattered throughout the office, he could feel a vein beginning to throb in his temple as he begrudgingly piled paper after paper onto the coffee table in the center of the room between the two couches.

_That damn Bastard is going to pay for this! I'm going to kill him! I'll whack him on the back of the head, tie him up and torture him, slowly taking him apart one piece at a time._

Wolfishly grinning, his mind wandered over the beautiful images of a room full of Bastard Colonels being tortured in various ways. Sitting down on the edge on the couch he began the arduous task of sorting the BILLIONS of papers in front of him.

_This is going to be a crappy night._

**-R-**

_I am going to have an amazing evening._

After arriving at his apartment he made a quick call to a lovely green eyed redhead by the name of…

_Julie…?_

_Jessica…?_

_Ah yes…_

"Rachael, how are you this evening?" he smoothly corrected as the ringing line was answered.

_I can already imagine the after dinner activities that will undeniably end with me in her queen sized bed, silk sheets under us, as she rides me like a jockey._

**-E-**

If he had been tired when he arrived in the Colonel's office, he was exhausted now.

_What time is it?_

Eyes scarcely able to focus, he stiffly stood up from his spot on the couch where he had been slouching for…

_Hours?_

He stumbled his way around behind the Colonel's desk to look at the small clock there.

_5:45!? Shit! I've been at this for almost NINE hours!! I'm not even half done and I still need to type my report before the Colonel gets here at eight._

_What a crappy night._

**-R-**

_Just as I predicted._

He rolled over and swung his legs off the edge of the bed and sat up feeling the soft swoosh of fabric under him.

_Ok, so the sheets weren't silk, but the bed was a queen. However…_

"You're leaving already? We could have another go." whispered the lovely chocolate voice.

_She may have the most amazingly sexy voice and body, but she is the worst lay ever._

_It's not like I didn't give her a second chance for redemption …and a third …and a FOURTH!_

…_She's gonna be clingy. I just hope she's able to take a hint._

"Yes, I have to be back in the office in a few hours." He stated as he stood up and reached for his pants.

_How did they get all the way over there?_

"Well, give me a call later." her voice whispered.

_Clingy._

"Of course" he said sweetly as he arranged the rest of his clothing and exited the room.

_Worst lay ever._

**-E-**

Rubbing his eyes furiously with his fingertips he tried to force them to focus so he could read the tiny print on the upper right of the report.

_No good, still blurry._

He vigorously scrubbed at his face open palmed, making his lips blubber with the fierce movement. Looking down at the report again he was finally able to make out the date, but only after he blinked several times slamming his eyelids open and closed and swiveling his eyes madly in his skull.

_Is it possible to die from lack of sleep?_

_I could be abducted by alien body snatchers, brainwashed and thoroughly probed in the anus and I wouldn't even be able to put up a fight._

_My eyes are so dry I think they might just start bleeding._

_Is it possible to die from lack of sleep?_

_If the alien body snatchers brainwash me I could honestly tell the Colonel that I have no idea how that stampede got started._

_Eyes…so…dry._

_I'm not so sure I would like the anal probe much._

_Is it possible to die from lack of sleep?_

_Eyes…gonna…bleed._

_Is it possible to die from lack of…_

His body slumped forward off the edge of the couch like a rag doll. His right hand slipped forward on the table at a left angle across the front of his body still lightly grasping the last file he had been trying to read. His head hit the table with a dull 'thunk' as his butt slipped off the edge of the cushions immediately crumpling his body into a twisted pretzel, half on the coffee table and half on the floor.

Ed dreamt about aliens with dry eyes brainwashing him into thinking he needed to blink more so he could effectively cause a stampede in the snow so they could finally start the anal probing that he wasn't quite sure he liked or not because he couldn't concentrate long enough to read the dates on the mission reports that needed to be sorted for the Colonel who had a violent twitch and for some reason sounded like a squeaking ceiling fan when he talked.

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**As always cookies to all reviewers!! I can't tell if you like it if you don't tell me!! XD – KrisKenshin**


	3. Losing My Mind

**Note:  
****-R- **Roy's point of view  
**-E- **Ed's point of view  
_Italics _are Roy or Ed's Thoughts depending on point of view

* * *

**Chapter 3 ****– Losing My Mind**

**-R-**

Arriving at his office, smartly dressed in his crisp uniform promptly at 08:00 hours, he held no hopes of seeing Fullmetal there, at least not until much later in the afternoon.

_Fullmetal is never on time._

However what he was not expecting is exactly what was waiting for him. Fullmetal was already in his office but definitely not because he was on time, in fact it was because he was very much late.

_It looks like he never left last night and he didn't even finished what I ordered him to do._

Almost all of the papers were back in order and placed neatly on the outer edges of his desk. The rest, only a very small pile, were still on the coffee table slightly scattered across the wood by the blond's automail arm.

_Is it just me or does that look incredibly uncomfortable?_

He stood at the arm of the couch and stared down at the small figure for a moment before he spoke.

"Fullmetal, I can see you haven't finished what I asked you to do. I can only assume your report is not ready as requested either." he droned in his 'I'm in charge and why didn't you follow my orders' voice, a little louder than normal so Fullmetal would wake up.

All he received in return was a moan and then some mumbled words that almost sounded like "can't understand your squeaking so just get that out of my ass bastard."

_Ok, that's just rude._

**-E-**

The Colonel slid his hands slowly along his bare hips from behind before gripping them firmly and thrusting inside him. He began to speak again with the same squeak he had been using for the last hour.

"Squeak squeak squeak."

Ed turned his head to glare back at the Colonel and growled, "What the hell is your problem? Is this exam really necessary? My back is killing me! At least let me turn the other way!"

The Colonel squeaked again but this time it sounded a little like "report is not ready as requested" at the end.

Frowning at this, he shouted "I don't know what VD you contracted recently, but I can't understand your squeaking so just get that out of my ass, Bastard!!"

The Colonel only smirked pulling half way out and then pushed in again, deeper this time.

"Squeak, squeak, SQ-METAL!!"

His eyes flew open as he flung himself up off the table in front of him bellowing "GET IT OUT, DAMN IT!!" and then almost at the same instant there was a dull THUD, an "OUCH!" and his head was throbbing.

Cursing loudly, flesh hand rubbing the lump forming on the top of his head, he fiercely glared as he looked up to see what his head had just been bludgeoned with.

The Colonel was leaning away from him, as far back as possible without toppling over backwards and clutching his chin.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!?" He howled glaring at the Colonel and wishing he could kill with a look.

"MY PROBLEM!? YOU'RE THE SPAZ!! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DREAMING ABOUT!? Never mind I DON'T want to know!" the Colonel roared back, rubbing at his aching chin with a scowl on his face.

_What was I dreaming about? …I don't remember._

He rubbed the top of his head again and frowned.

_Damn Colonel's rock hard chin probably fractured my skill._

**-R-**

_Damn it! It feels like he dislocated my jaw._

Rubbing his chin fiercely, he watched as Fullmetal tried to untwist himself and stand only to immediately fall back to the floor and clutch his right leg in pain.

_Ha! It serves him right for trying to take my head off with his ridiculously hard skull. Well I now know why he can fall head first and not get hurt. One mystery solved, infinity plus one to go._

Fullmetal tried to stand again and was once again unsuccessful, this time flinching when he tried to straighten his back.

_God, he looks pale …and the dark bags make him look like a zombie._

"You look like shit." He stated matter-of-factly.

Having finally managed to stand up, Fullmetal was leaning heavily to the left and using the couch for support. "And who's fault is that asshole?" he spat.

…_I suppose I was a little harsh last night. PERHAPS from his point of view it MIGHT have looked like my fault._

The walking-dead blond frowned, taking a step towards the door. "I'll be back in a minute to finish this, I have to pee."

"No, don't worry about it."

Fullmetal paused, turning back slightly to glare at the dark haired man, "What!? Of course I'm worrying, my bladder is about to explode it NEEDS to be relieved!"

He felt a tiny smile appear on his face and removed it quickly.

_Why am I being so nice? …I must be losing my mind._

"Fullmetal, you can't even follow the conversation properly. Just go back to the dorms, get some sleep, type your report, and turn it in later this afternoon." He paused, then added because the blond was starting to look at him funny. "Oh! And would you please take a shower, you smell. When was the last time you bothered to do that?"

_Don't want to give him the wrong impression._

Fullmetal managed a fairly strong glare at this, "Well I wouldn't want to offend you any longer than necessary with my SMELL!" and with that stomped out of his office.

As he stooped down to collect the remaining documents so he could sort them comfortably from his desk, he found himself smiling again.

_Losing my mind._

**-E-**

_What an ass, telling me I smell! It's his fault I SMELL like this anyway!_

_Couldn't shower last night, couldn't shower on the train, and I couldn't shower the day before that because it took me FOREVER to get most of the mess in Yuswell cleaned up before the train arrived._

…_God! I must smell HORRIBLE!_

He said a quick 'hello' to Hawkeye on his way out, she being the only one on the Colonel's staff that was insane enough to get to the office this early in the morning. She did seem mildly surprised that he was in at this early hour, but made no comment other than to bid him good morning in return.

He was already regretting falling asleep in such a twisted position. His back, right shoulder and BOTH legs screamed pain from his nerve endings straight to his brain with every step, making the trek back to the dorms seem to take five times longer than it normally did.

His sleep deprived brain brought back the look of heart-palpitating shock followed by utter terror that had run across the Colonel's face during the seconds following his outburst the previous evening.

_SHIT, that was FUCKING HILARIOUS!!_

By the time he had arrived at the dorm room he shared with his brother he was laughing hysterically. Thankfully his brother heard the ruckus coming down the hall and opened the door for him because his whole body was shaking and his vision was blurred with tears.

"Where have you been, Brother!?" Al asked, concern in his hollow voice. His metal armor squeaked as he closed the door behind them.

It took Ed a good ten minutes to stop laughing long enough to tell Al "The Colonel is a SPAZ and he thought it would be funny if I stayed ALL night sorting out the mess HE caused because he's a SPAZ, and oh yeah! Did I mention he's a SPAZ!?" he said flapping his arms around frantically.

Al stood there a moment silently, before asking innocently "Ok Brother…You are going to take a shower before you go to sleep right?"

"ARRRRGH!"

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**Please let me know what you think!! I Lovers You!! - KrisKenshin**


	4. Let the Games Begin

**Note:  
-R- **Roy's point of view  
**-E- **Ed's point of view  
_Italics _are Roy or Ed's Thoughts depending on point of view

* * *

**Chapter 4 ****– Let the Games Begin**

**-E-**

He walked into the Colonel's office five hours later feeling much better, not entirely back to normal but undeniably cleaner. He slammed the door closed with a harsh kick from his boot.

_Man, that shower felt great! My scalp was so itchy! Damn! Is that a bruise on his chin!?_

He walked up to the Colonel's desk, shoved his TYPED report at him, flopped down on the couch he had vacated only a few hours ago and waited for the Bastard to begin talking so he could block him out.

_It's not like he needs me to pay attention to what he's saying, he already knows exactly what I did down to the last detail, and I already know he knows every detail, and he knows I already know he knows, and I know he knows I already know he knows…_

…_maybe I should have slept a little longer._

_Oh, here he goes._

**-R-**

_Let the games begin._

Pretending to read through the report that Fullmetal had practically thrown at him and taking his time about it because it would piss the blond off more, he finally began to speak.

"This is quite a report Fullmetal," He said, pausing to pretend that he needed another look at the pages in front of him, watching over the top of the report as Fullmetal began fidgeting.

_He must have not gotten enough sleep, he usually last longer than this before he starts squirming. Oh well._

"Your shenanigans during this last mission have-"

"Wait a minute," Fullmetal interrupted, looking up. "Did you just say, 'shenanigans'?" he asked in disbelief, making quotation movements with his fingers.

"Yes Fullmetal you-"

"That's what I thought." The blond interrupted again. "Who the hell says shenanigans? That's almost as bad as someone saying something is a doodad!"

_God Damn it!_

"Fullmetal, would you please-"

"Using the word 'shenanigans'," he paused slightly to make quotation movements with his fingers around the word again before continuing, "makes it sound like I TRY and cause trouble."

_What the Hell?_

He started again, "Yes well, that is my general-"

"Because that's just not the case!" Fullmetal proclaimed, frowning at him.

_Oh for FUCK SAKE!_

He started once again, "Really, I have a hard-"

"I'm under the belief that fate hates me and therefore doodads get in my way and said doodads get broken." Fullmetal continued apparently not paying any attention to the fact that HE had just used the word 'doodads'.

"Doodads, Fullmetal?" Roy asked with a grin.

The blond plunged on, "Yeah! Fate sees I'm in a bind and says to itself, 'Hey self, Ed looks like he's about to get maimed by some psycho killer or a chimera or something to that effect, how about I throw a doodad in his path so he almost gets killed because he has to stop and get the doodad out of the way hopefully breaking it in the process. That way when he goes in to make his report to the Colonel, the Colonel can claim that Ed is responsible for some more 'SHENANIGANS,' that were really not his fault in the first place because I have it out for Edward Elric, the boy who decided to defy the laws of nature by trying to bring his mother back to life!" he finished slightly out of breath.

"My god Fullmetal, did you just say all that in one breath?" He asked incredulously.

Fullmetal ignored him.

"So don't say I cause 'shenanigans'" he said, "because the doodads just get in the way that fate decided would be funny if I DESTROYED!" his voice rising as he finished. The blond looked up and crossed his arms defiantly over his chest.

He felt his face had turned red from the strain of holding his tongue until Fullmetal had completed his insane rant. However, now he had no idea what to say.

_That last bit didn't make sense at all!_

"Well!?" Fullmetal asked angrily, his golden eyes blazing, daring Roy to deny that what he had just said was anything but the truth.

_Damn! _

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Tears sprang into his eyes as he clutched his sides gasping for breath.

Fullmetal stared at him horrified.

He managed to choke out a response between hysterical laughter. "Do you realize… you just equated destroying half a town… to an ethereal being… that has such an extreme grudge against you… that it throws a full circus at you… to slow you down… and then… this ethereal being… calls them… doodads!?" He finished making his own quotation fingers around the word 'doodads'.

_Damn! I haven't laughed this hard in YEARS!_

Fullmetal's eyes bugged at him for the second time in twenty-four hours.

_This is priceless!_

He laughed even harder.

**-E-**

_What the Hell!?_

He snickered.

_What AM I TALKING about!?_

"HAHAHAHAHA!!"

"God, that WAS ridiculous wasn't it?" he managed to say, snorting laughter as he covered his face with his hands and letting his head drop down onto the armrest.

"Probably more than you even realize" chortled the Colonel.

He continued to snort helplessly at himself.

_I've finally gone insane._

**-R-**

Taking a moment to sober himself, he cleared his throat and wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes.

_Well enough of that. It's time to let the ax fall._

Smirking to himself and calmly placing his elbows on the edge of his desk he laced his fingers, waiting patiently for Fullmetal to realize the game had changed.

_Wait for it._

It didn't take long for Fullmetal to register that he was no longer laughing. The blond alchemist raised his head abruptly and gave him a satisfying look of mild shock. This expression, followed by his face visibly paling as a well placed curse word to escaped his lips, made Roy's smirk broaden.

"As entertaining as that was Fullmetal let's get back to reality, shall we? Because of your 'chaotic' actions you have cost the military not only money but also made us look bad…mainly ME." He frowned. Sitting back in his chair he continued on in the same matter-of-fact manner. "Because your rank as a Major allows you to have access to field reports you also have the rank to sign off on them as well."

Fullmetal gasped open-mouthed.

Roy continued smoothly, "From the look on your face I can safely assume you already know where I am going with this."

The blond shot up off the couch and marched over to his desk shaking with rage.

"YOU'RE SHOVING YOUR WORK OFF ON ME!?" Ed bellowed, clenching his fists. He then whipped his arm up and jabbed a white gloved finger at Roy's face, "YOU MANIPULATIVE LAZY BASTARD!!"

_Yes I am …and I'm GOOD at it too._

"Very good," he leaned forward again giving Fullmetal a dark scowl. "Now, as you are READING and signing these reports," he let his hand fall on top of one of the large piles to his right, "think about how you can refrain from acting rashly in the future. Is that understood, Fullmetal?"

"Yes Sir" Fullmetal spat as he swatted Roy's hand off and grabbed the pile.

Smirking again he said serenely, "Watch it Fullmetal, you don't want me to assign all of them to you."

The blond bristled. "Yes, Sir" and sharply turned away from him to stomp his way over to the small desk in the corner of the room.

_God that was satisfying!_

**-E-**

_MANIPULATIVE …LAZY …ASSHOLE!_

He slammed himself violently into the chair and then slammed the stack of files down as well.

_FUCKING BASTARD!_

Instead of thinking about how he could restrain himself on his next mission, he thought once again of the many ways to kill the Colonel.

_I personally like 'BEATING THE FUCKING SMIRK RIGHT OFF HIS FACE' option._

Making short work of the ridiculously large pile of papers thanks to his uncanny ability to read and absorb information like a starving man in an eating contest, he picked up one of the last file as he visualized the Colonel getting maimed by a walrus, when his brain screeched at him.

"OH MY GOD!!" he yelped and shot up from his chair.

He saw the Colonel jump but thankfully he didn't have any major spaz attacks.

"Damn it, Fullmetal, if-" the Colonel started irritably.

"Private Richards reported a laboratory in Triston where they were researching the effects of a red liquid." he read excitedly. "He reports that while he doesn't have much understanding of alchemy he was certain that they were attempting to extend human lifespan." he practically jumped for joy.

"Do you REALIZE!? OH MY GOD!!" he repeated shaking with excitement.

_I've GOT to talk to Al!_

He paced back and forth across the office muttering to himself as he glanced down at the report every now and then to confirm his musings.

From across the room the Colonel sighed loudly, "I can see I will not be getting you back to work until you have looked into this new lead."

Stilling his pacing, he ripped his eyes off the report and looked at the Colonel with shock.

"You're letting me go!?"

_I take back the Walrus attack!_

The Colonel shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he was about to say.

"Yes, go. And Fullmetal," he looked at him pointedly, "try not to cause trouble!"

_Thank God he said 'try'._

He grinned madly as his mind began to race, already thinking about how fast he could get packed and on the first train out.

"Yes Sir!"

With a flurry of red fabric he raced out the door and off to the dorms.

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**Once again please Review so I know what you think!! You guys are AWSOME!! I swear there is a juicy Lemon in this story, be patient my lovelies XD !! **

It's my Birthday today! Yays to everyone who has a Birthday today!! XD - KrisKenshin


	5. I Can Be Contrary

**Note:  
-R- **Roy's point of view  
**-E- **Ed's point of view  
_Italics _are Roy or Ed's Thoughts depending on point of view

* * *

**Chapter 5 ****– I Can Be Contrary**

**-E-**

He sat dejectedly at the table in the public library with his brother after arriving back in Central almost two days ago. It had taken them a nine hour train ride to get to Triston only to find that the red liquid was not the red water they had been hoping for.

The trip had not been a complete loss though; the alchemist, Ernest Duchesne, was writing a thesis called "Contribution to the Study of Vital Competition in Micro-Organisms between Molds and Microbes" in hopes of becoming a state alchemist. The research was a study with different molds, noting that certain kinds were dominant and would eradicate other more deadly molds that caused infection. Ed, being an alchemist also, had immediately seen the benefit of such research and quickly began a discussion with Duchesne that had lasted the rest of the day. When he and Al finally left, Duchesne had given them a copy of his research notes under the condition that if they discovered anything the two boys were to contact him immediately so they could discuss his theory.

_It's a really fascinating theory…but not helpful._

At the moment Ed was distracted and trying to make himself look busy. Al could always tell when he was faking and he was definitely faking right now. He had a mountain of books open in front of him, randomly flipping a page every once in a while, but his brother was onto him.

Al, who was sitting to his left at the long table, looked over at him for the hundredth time since they had arrived that day. This time, just like all the others, he didn't say anything before looking back down to his own book.

_Oh for Fuck's sake!_

He couldn't take it any more, "Al," he hissed, keeping his voice low so as not to attract any fanatical librarians, "If you have something to say just do it already."

Al looked over at him and sputtered. "I… it's just…"

"Spit it out!" he said harshly, still whispering.

Al shifted uncomfortably, "Well… It's just… we got back two days ago…" he said timidly.

"Yeah, so what?"

His brother shifted again.

_Come on Al, I don't bite…much._

Al apparently made up his mind because he finally asked, "Brother, shouldn't you give your report to the Colonel?", and flinched as if Ed would suddenly become rabid and attack.

_I can be contrary if I want._

"Al, our research is more important right now." he forced out in a sickly sweet voice, "We got an amazing lead and we should take advantage of it as soon as possible." Continuing but not able to completely cover his repugnance this time, "The Colonel understands how important getting your body back is. You are worrying too much, Al."

If Al could have raised his non existent eyebrow Ed was sure he would have right now. "You don't expect me to believe that do you?"

_I can always dream, can't I?_

"I think you are afraid because you don't want to tell the Colonel what happened on the train ride back" Al stated all-knowingly.

"I am NOT AFRAID!" he yelled, forgetting where they were.

Apparently Al had gotten over his bout of shyness because he didn't stop there. He abruptly stood up and pointed a leather gauntlet at his face, "You are going to the office right this moment, Brother! Stop procrastinating and get it over with, it will only be worse if you wait. The Colonel will already be upset that you took this long to report. You don't want to make things worse for yourself do you?"

He looked scathingly at Al, but just as he was about to make a particularly clever retort a militant looking librarian came over to tell them they needed to leave, and when they didn't begin moving fast enough for her, she barked "Immediately!"

As they walked down the steps of the library carrying a few of the books they had been looking through he looked up at his metal brother, "Would you mind taking these back to the dorms? I'll meet you there later."

"Ok," Al said as he shifted the books to his arms, "I'll have your laundry done when you get back. Oh and say hi to the Colonel for me." he said as Ed walked off grumbling to himself.

**-R-**

Signing the very last report, he dropped it into the 'completed' pile with an enormous sense of satisfaction and relief. With it being only eleven-thirty in the morning he decided it was time for a nap. Leaning back in his chair he laced his fingers behind his head and propped his feet up on the corner of his desk and let eyes fall closed.

_If Riza wasn't so trigger happy I would have saved them for Fullmetal. How many times do I have to tell him not to blow shit up? …The whole last train car was destroyed, blown to smithereens. There's no way EVERY time is an accident. I'll have to figure out some way to punish him when he reports in. What is this …the third longest time he has taken to come in? Let's see, the longest was…five days? …six? Something like that. That particular time was …the popcorn factory incident? Yeah that sounds right._

"Colonel"

He flung his eyes open.

_Damn it! He's trying to kill me! Fucking Heart Attack!!!_

…_What is he wearing?_

Fullmetal was standing in front of his desk with his arms crossed over his chest dressed in his usual leather pants and boots but minus the black shirt, and signature red cloak. Instead he had on a simple dark red button down dress shirt, an expertly tailored coal colored knee length dress jacket, and his hair was up in a ponytail set high on his head held by a thin red ribbon.

He studied the young man's new appearance, taking care to keep his face blank.

…_I never thought I would EVER think this but …Ed looks …GOOD!_

A few minutes later he realized he was staring. Blinking, he schooled his emotions.

_It's just Fullmetal. Plain old Fullmetal. …Fullmetal who made me look bad. Again! TWICE! In the SAME WEEK!!! DAMN BRAT!!!_

Fullmetal was scowling and waiting for him to say something.

"What's the excuse this time Fullmetal? You were saving an old lady from being stung by a bee? Or a mime trapped you in an invisible box and you had to blow it up to get out? Or perhaps that last train car just made you really, REALLY mad. What was it? Come on Fullmetal, give me your best and make me BELIEVE you had to break shit." He dropped his feet to the floor and leaned towards Fullmetal, glowering.

The blond couldn't control himself as his blood began to boil, "Wow that was snarky!" he barked. "For your information, since it must be the end of the world because you don't know already, I was almost killed by Scar! He also fucking tried to deconstruct Al and after a little bit the fight got to close to the other passengers, so I uncoupled the last train car after I trapped him in side. I'm not certain what happened next, but he must have tried to get one last hit in, because the weapons the military were transporting caught a spark and exploded."

_Not exactly what I was expecting._

He was about to comment on the shorter man's 'snarky' comment when Riza appeared carrying a gargantuan stack of papers for him.

_Nooooooooooooo!!!_

**-E-**

If it was possible, this stack looked larger than the one he'd had to go through previously. He heard the Colonel moan and Lieutenant Hawkeye respond with a "Sorry Sir, but that's not even half of them."

He snickered as Lieutenant Hawkeye left to bring in the rest of the paperwork.

"Don't look so smug, Fullmetal," the Colonel smirked while Ed paled. "You're going to be doing half of them because once again you could not restrain yourself."

Hawkeye came back with the rest of the papers on a wheeled cart and deposited them on the Colonel's desk, making sure they were perfectly stacked and then left the office with her hand resting on the butt of her gun as a subtle reminder.

_Why can she get away with shit like that but I get made fun of and then bored to death with meaningless torture?_

"Go ahead Fullmetal" said the Colonel as he motioned with his hand for him to pick his pile.

_He planned this! I know he did! There is no other explanation. He told Lieutenant Hawkeye to wait until I came in to give my report. How he managed to hold her off without becoming a Swiss cheese look-a-like is beyond me, but he definitely planned this! Somehow that FUCKING BASTARD PLANNED THIS!!!_

**-R-**

_Wow, that was SO not planned! Thank you, Riza! …wait…I take that back…hummm. Maybe if I read really slowly, Fullmetal will do more than half before he realizes what's going on. No, that won't work, he's way too clever for that. He probably thinks I told Riza to wait until he got here to bring them in. As if I could EVER stop her from giving me more paperwork._

He watched as the short blond begrudgingly took a stack and marched over to the vacant desk.

_This has got to be the worst week ever. Two fuck ups from Fullmetal, Riza trying to murder me by paper cut, and bad sex …FOUR TIMES!!! Fucking Shitty Week!_

Holding in a groan he reached for yet another paper cut waiting to happen and began reading.

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**Note from KrisKenshin:** Ernest Duchesne was a real French physician who did in fact write that particular thesis, which he submitted in 1897 to get his doctorate degree. If you look him up, you will see that the reason Fleming received the credit for discovering penicillin is because Duchesne was only 23 years old when he requested further research on the subject therefore the 'Institut Pasteur' refused to accept his dissertation. *I researched my data from .gov and Wikipedia.

Of course the date is incorrect and I made him an alchemist, instead of a doctor, to work with the story. Also, I seriously doubt any red liquids are involved in mould research, but hey, I had to get Ed's attention somehow. **XP** …**Knowledge Is Power!**

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**Once again please Review so I know what you think!!**

**The chappie you just read is actually version 2 of this chapter. If you wanna read the original you can find it on my profile it's called "A Hero Among Us" ... and MAN is it CRACK!!! XD**

**The Lemon is right around the corner... wait for it... wait for it XD !!! - KrisKenshin**


	6. Rinse and Repeat

**Note:  
-R- **Roy's point of view  
**-E- **Ed's point of view  
_Italics _are Roy or Ed's Thoughts depending on point of view

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**Chapter 6 ****– Rinse and Repeat**

**-R-**

A few hours later, he was imagining Fullmetal dressed as a mime trying desperately to get out of a box that for some reason didn't seem to really exist. Scribbling his signature at the bottom of the report he snatched up another.

_Rinse and Repeat._

The blond mime had managed to get his hand half way out of the box but it was stuck. Struggling, he put both feet up, seemingly floating, and attempted to pull himself free with his entire body.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!" Fullmetal bellowed slamming his hands together with a crackle of alchemy that rang through the office.

_OH FUCK!!! He's really going to kill me this time!_

Flinging his head up, he whipped his hand out in front of him, ready to snap in defense.

_What the Hell?_

Fullmetal had leapt up on top of the desk he had been working at and slammed his hands onto the ceiling. With a quick ripple of alchemy across the ceiling, the fan blew up.

He shot Fullmetal a severe look.

"As much as I appreciate that, I must insist you put it back together. Do you have to blow up EVERYTHING?"

The blond glowered down at him.

"Fine! But I'm fixing the squeak!"

Shaking his head, Roy returned to his papers as a small smile formed on his lips.

**-E-**

_I can't believe I would forget a dream like…like THAT!_

He blushed furiously as he climbed down off the desk. Sitting back down he ducked his head pretending to read the file he had abandoned, suddenly very aware of the Colonel's presence in the office.

_It's not like I can control what I dream! It's just, it was a really intimate situation…really bizarre…but still intimate. I can't believe I let him do that! I have to stop freaking out…I had no control of my thoughts. I would never let the Colonel do something like that in reality …never …absolutely …never …would I?_

**-R-**

He looked up from a particularly boring report about paper towels and checked to see what time it was.

_It's eight o'clock? Feels like I've been doing this for a million years. …Come to think of it … technically I have been doing this for about twelve years…give or take…oh god…my life sucks!_

He looked over to where Fullmetal sat.

"Well I could use a drink. Would you like to join me Fullmetal, you look like you could use one as well," he said when he saw the glazed look of the blond's eyes.

Fullmetal looked startled for a moment, eyes wide, an odd expression passed over his face but quickly disappeared. "Yeah, I could absolutely use a drink right about now," he said, tone vague.

_That was weird._

"There's a bar around the corner, come on." He said, grabbing his keys from the desk, "we can walk from here."

**-E-**

Still in shock from the offer of a drink, he only nodded and followed the Colonel out of the building. They walked in silence for a while and then turning a final corner they came to a quaint little pub at the end of a small street. Recognizing the place he relaxed a little as the familiar territory helped to calm him slightly.

As they entered the pub the portly bartender looked up and waved to them with a genial smile. His nervousness came back in full force when his brain brought to his attention that he was about to have to hold an actual conversation with the Colonel.

They took the last two barstools at the far end and sat down. While the Colonel was removing his uniform jacket and placing it neatly on the back of the bar stool, he took the opportunity to discretely study the taller man out of the corner of his eye.

As the Colonel unhooked the first two buttons of his perfectly white uniform shirt, his mind wandered momentarily to slowly licking the Colonels collarbone and what he imagined was the feel of the Colonels hands on his bare hips.

"Lighten up Fullmetal, order a drink or something." The Colonel said ordering double rum for himself and looking over at him expectantly.

He could feel his face heat to a particularly embarrassing shade of red at the direction his mind had so quickly wandered. "I'll have my regular," he told the bartender who nodded and turned to get there drinks.

_Damn that dream! Making me act weird around that Bastard!_

A moment later the bartender sat their drinks down, but before the he could turn away, the Colonel snatched his up and downed it in one gulp. "Another please." he said handing the glass back with a grimace.

Ed looked at him, shocked. The bartender obliged and the Colonel took a large gulp of the second one but didn't seem as determined to empty the entire glass this time. Instead he sat it back down and stayed motionless, staring into the light golden liquid.

_That was weird._

Not commenting on his actions Ed just sipped his beer and instead continued to look at him out the corner of his eye.

The Colonel broke the uncomfortable silence first.

"You have a 'regular' drink? I was betting you had never gone drinking before."

Jumping at the opening for conversation, Ed answered honestly, "Yeah, sometimes I need a drink when I come back from a mission."

The Colonel snorted, "I'm sure."

Ignoring the slight he continued, "I've been coming here for about a year, you know, ever since I have been old enough. I usually only come after I get beat up pretty badly or if I could have…should have died. After everything that's happened to me and Al sometimes the only way to stop the memories is a cold beer." he paused frowning. "That sounds bad, like I'm a drunk or something. I really don't come very often, it's just over the past year they have come to recognize me."

"But you have a 'regular' drink." The Colonel prodded raising an eyebrow.

"Not exactly, I just get the same thing every single time." he replied. "I tried hard liquor a few times but I don't have any tolerance."

When he didn't get a response, he continued fearful that the silence would return. "The last time I was here was about a month ago. It was right after I thought I figured out how to get Al's body back but in the end I only managed to burn the crap out of my hand."

Finishing off his drink the Colonel snickered.

"Yeah, real funny," Ed said irritably, muttering and hunching his shoulders. "That hurt you know, stung for weeks."

The Colonel laughed outright, "Couldn't have hurt as bad as when Maes dared you to play that knife game."

"Ha ha, very funny." he said dryly as he unconsciously rubbed at a scar on his left thumb. "What about you? Why are you so determined to drink yourself under the bar?" noting the Colonel was on his third glass.

_What's that, like SIX shots!?!_

**-R-**

He was silent for a moment," I've come to the conclusion that my life sucks and therefore decided to drink it away for an evening."

Fullmetal looked at him shocked, "What? You've got it easy. Desk job, your own place, great pay, and you can get a date with anyone…and do!"

The blond pause, looking at Roy in earnest, "How DO you pay for all those dates?"

"Actually Fullmetal," he said smugly, "I've never paid for a date. I just HAPPEN to go out with the prettiest young ladies with large breast, tiny waist, curvy hips, and legs that never quit who offer to purchase tickets and dinner ahead of time."

He smirked at Fullmetal.

_Unfortunately every girl I go out with is incredibly boring, all they want to talk about is themselves. Not one of them can hold a decent conversation._

He downed the rest of his drink and motioned for another.

The alcohol seemed to be addling his brain because he continued out loud. "I just wish I could meet someone who gives me a challenge. Someone who I can talk to about alchemy and actually comprehend the theories."

"Like a six point elemental array," Ed interjected. "I know what you mean. The only person who knows what I'm talking about half the time is Al. Everyone else just stares at me like I have two heads or something."

"Exactly!" he said excitedly, taking a better look at the blond. "I actually have been working on a theory about activating a six point elemental array in only two steps as apposed to the current application of six separate activations."

Ed looked over at him shocked, 'With two alchemists? I've contemplated that myself."

"I should have known you would have already thought of it." He replied slightly confused as to why he felt proud that Ed was such a genius.

"How do you figure stabilization of the first five elements should be processed?" Ed asked, interested.

He watched as Edwards lips touched the bottle as he took a sip from his beer.

_God, he looks so different when he's happy!_

"My theory is that the first alchemist can ground the base array with each of the elements and then as the second alchemist activates the sixth element he adjusts the energy output to compensate the release of the final seal."

Ed creased his brow, "They would both have to be extremely knowledgeable of energy flow and output ratios."

He watched as Ed took another sip from his beer, noticing how his bottom lip puckered slightly before touching the bottle.

_I must be drunk because right now I want to kiss Edward Elric…to taste him…God! I want to kiss him senseless._

The conversation came easily as they exchanged theories and discussed which one of them would achieve better results, continuing like that for hours, until the bartender announced last call.

After one last drink they stumbled out of the bar, Roy hanging off Ed, trying to hold himself up with the support of the blond's muscular body. Almost toppling over, they slammed into an innocent light post just outside of the bar.

"I think…we should get a cap…cap…p…p…A CAB!!!" Ed said laughing and slurring his speech as he pointed at the sky as if this was a brilliant idea.

Roy laughed, both hands grasping Ed as he bent forward and rest his head on Ed's shoulder. "CAP!" he howled.

Ed shoved him off, swaying on his feet, "I said CAB, you ass!"

Ed laughed again as he fell heavily back against Roy's chest.

Pushing back from Ed's weight, his back hit the light pole again.

"Fine, whatever catch us a CAB, Ed. Try and get one that doesn't smell funny." He slurred, looking down at the golden head resting against him.

Ed swung his head up with a little more movement than necessary making Roy's breath catch at the closeness of his lips.

"They all smell funny!" and then laughed clutching his sides and stumbling a few steps away just as Roy was raising his arm to hold him close.

Something flip-flopped painfully in his chest as he forced a laugh to cover his disappointment.

"Oh LOOK, There's one! Go get 'em, Fullmetal!" he said with enthusiasm.

Instead of just putting his arm up to get the drivers' attention, Ed leapt into the street in front of the cab, forcing the driver to slam on the breaks and curse loudly out the window. Irritated, Ed drunkenly replied with a few choice curses of his own.

Giving them both the middle finger, the driver pulled around Ed's swaying form and drove off, leaving them stranded.

"Great, he forgot to let us in the cab!" Ed said frowning.

"He didn't FORGET, Fullmetal, you PISSED him off!" Roy said, irritated.

Ed quirked his lips in what Roy thought was a mischievous smile, "Well that leaves us all alone together I guess." and stumbled his way back to the sidewalk.

Roy watched him for a moment then pushed himself forward off the pole.

"Come on, Ed" he said with a wave of his hand over his shoulder as he began walking down the sidewalk.

**-E-**

After some time Ed looked around at his surroundings noticing they were walking up to an apartment complex.

"Where are we?" he asked thoroughly confused.

Roy glanced back at him, "This is where I live."

"What! What the hell are we doing here?" he asked angrily.

Roy laughed and shook his head "It's not my fault you weren't paying attention and followed me home."

Ed frowned as Roy seemed to puzzle over something and then come to a decision with a tiny nod of his head, "You wanna come up?"

Still a little too drunk to make informed decisions, Ed nodded, "Sure, why not!"

To his credit he only toppled sideways once. Where as Roy on the other hand bumped into the railing of the stairs on the first floor, then again on the third and finally, after unlocking his door, knocked his wrist painfully on the doorknob making the raven haired man curse and rub at the offended appendage. Snickering he followed Roy inside.

Leaning against the closed door for support, Ed watched Roy drop his keys on the floor next to the side table, kick off his shoes and stumble into the living room grasping the back of the couch. Ed thought he heard Roy say something but it was mumbled and the distance between them made it hard to be sure.

Fumbling with his boots he finally got them off and discarding them in a heap next to Roy's. He then walked over behind the taller man and leaned around to look up at Roy's face. "What was that? I couldn't hear you."

He watched in slow motion, or maybe it was all the alcohol he had consumed, as Roy turned to him, swayed dangerously and slowly toppled into him. He flung his arms out to shove him off but for some reason he instead grabbed onto the raven haired man, arms sliding around his hips to hold them tightly.

He grunted as Roy's weight landed heavily against him, knocking him painfully into the sharp corner of the metal table next to the couch. Looking up he inhaled as dark shuttered eyes gazed at him. A shiver ran up his spine as he felt Roy's hands slid up his back one stopping at the nape of his neck and the other gently cupping his face.

"You are so cute." Roy whispered.

_What!?! What does he mean by that?_

Ed tried not to, he really did, but he soon found his eyes leaving Roy's and drifting down to his lips. They were parted slightly and seemed to silently beg for his lips to touch them.

_I must be going crazy. I must be hallucinating or I've fallen asleep and this is another dream…a very REAL dream!_

Roy's lips started to move as he stared, coming slowly towards his. Ed jerked to the left, making both of them spin around with the movement. The taller man winced as his back hit the hard wood of the edge of the couch. Still in the process of trying to make contact, he tipped forward and planted his nose in Ed's neck with a sharp jab.

_Oh my God! What is he doing? What am I doing!?!_

"Whoa!" he proclaimed as his knees finally buckled under their combined weight, pulling them both down. His automail knee hit the carpet first making a muted thud as they slid all the way down the back of the couch to the floor. Ed landed in his lap, straddling Roy, his legs bent under him on either side of his thighs as he held Roy's broad shoulders to his chest tightly.

_What am I doing? Do I really want this!?!_

Trying to figure out what the man was thinking, he peeked up at Roy who smiled down at him. Not one of his false smiles, but truly happy smile that made Ed feel warm in the pit of his stomach. Ed smiled back as he felt a blush crept across the top of his nose. Roy slid his arms around his back and pull him close. Enjoying the embrace, Ed let his head fall to Roy's shoulder. He stayed like that a moment, clinging to the back of Roy's jacket.

_This feels good…but…_

Ed pulled his head back and tried to move away but Roy held him tight, slipping his fingers back around the nape of his neck. He was drawn forward and this time he did not resist. Their lips brushed together in a feather light kiss, all of Ed's senses focusing on the sensation of Roy's lips skimming across his.

Slowly Roy pulled away and looked at him, dark eyes fondly taking his features in. Tipping his head forward again he kissed Ed's forehead, his lips lingering there before pulling away, smiling and gently pulling his head down to rest on his shoulder. He let his eyes fall closed as he listened to the steady heart beat under him and the soft sound of Roy's own sigh.

_I could stay like this forever._

The last thing he remembered before releasing himself to exhaustion was Roy's fingers gently brushing his bangs from his face and his barely audible whisper, "Would you let me take you out, Edward?"

Not being awake enough to talk he managed a slight nod and fell into sleep with a tiny smile.

Unknown to Ed, Roy smiled happily and lowered his head to kiss Ed's lips again before leaning back and falling asleep himself.

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**A Super long chapter just for you on this glorious Halloween Night!!! XD**

**Close your eyes, I'm going to brain wash you… Review Review Review!!!**

**Did someone say Lemon? YES!!! Chapter 7 here WE come, finally!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! - KrisKenshin**


	7. Oh God Yes!

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* * *

**

**Note:  
-R-**Roy's point of view  
**-E-** Ed's point of view  
_Italics_ are Roy or Ed's Thoughts depending on point of view

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**Note from KrisKenshin:** This is where the **Lemon Warning** comes into effect… it is pretty much throughout the whole chapter. If you would like to avoid it you can read the first two sections and then skip down to the very last one, although I don't know why you are reading this in the first place if you don't like lemons.

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**Chapter 7 ****– Oh God Yes!**

**-R-**

Roy woke up to something heavy on his chest and legs, looking down he saw the top of a blond head that was leaking a pool of spit through his military jacket. Smiling to himself, he watched as Ed's small form rose and fell in the rhythm of deep sleep. During the night, his arms had slipped to the floor so he raised them again to hold Ed snugly to his body. As they slid around the younger man, the blond shifted in his sleep wiggling in his lap as his small hands gripped Roy's jacket tightly.

Roy felt his heart jump in his chest.

_I could get used to this._

As the sunlight crept its way across their faces through the open window, he watched Ed squeeze his eyes closed tighter and tighter, desperately trying to cling to sleep. Finally giving up the battle he began to stir, opening his eyes only to moan and shut them again against the bright light.

"Morning Sunshine" Roy chuckled shaking both of them gently.

Ed jerked up, still sitting in Roy's lap but with a look of alarm on his face.

Creasing his brow slightly, Roy asked in concern, "Are you ok with this? I mean, you didn't change your mind did you?"

He did not relinquish his hold on the blond, fearful he would get up and bolt.

He waited with dread as Ed stared at him for a long moment, emotions playing across the young man's face, surprise…fear…longing…uncertainty…and then…

Ed leaned slowly forward and kissed him.

_Thank God! I don't know what this is but I do know I don't want to let you go._

**-E-**

The kiss was chaste but he wanted more. He opened his mouth and ran his tongue along Roy's lips, gaining entry.

_God, he kisses GOOD! I can see why so many women have fallen for him._

Ed jerked his head back scowling, "You better not fucking cheat on me!" he said hissed.

Roy cupped his face with soft warm hands and looked into his eyes showing him the absolute truth in his expression, "Never, Edward, never."

Ed was trying desperately not to blush as Roy leaned forward and kissed him again. The sensation of his lips overwhelmed him as his emotions for the tall brunette took control of him.

**-R-**

Ed moaned into the kiss making him almost gasp.

_God that's sexy!_

He trailed his hands slowly down the boy's back, giving one last hard suck on Ed's lower lip before traveling on to explore his jaw and neck. Ed's head tipped to the side, allowing him better access to the sensitive flesh of his ear. Running his tongue along the ridge, he earned a throaty sound from the boy that sent a molten shiver down his spine.

He distantly registered Ed's hands unbuttoning his jacket and sliding it off his shoulders as Roy hungrily flicked his tongue along his collarbone, nipping it and then kissing the pain away as Ed made the most alluring sounds and writhing in his lap.

Ed unfastened Roy's shirt, pulling it open and leaned forward and nipped his left nipple, the sensation sent a shockwave of pleasure through Roy's entire body. His whole body arched upwards, head falling back and moaning loudly.

_Oh God, yes!_

He instantly took note of the intense distress his pants were in as his cock desperately tried to bust right through them, aching for Ed.

"Edward." he gasped as he bucked his hips into the blond, never taking his hands off him for a second.

**-E-**

_Ok, concentrate! Belt…button…zipper…belt…button…zipper…_

Shaking with need, his hands fumbled with Roy's pants. Roy bucked under him again, sending another jolt through his cock.

_Fuck! I'm ridiculously hard and my hands won't work properly._

He was so focused on what he was doing he didn't realize until Roy's palm brushed along the underside of his cock that his pants were even undone. Gasping from the unexpected sensation of Roy's touch he completely forgot what he had been doing as all his senses instantly redirected to his groin. The pad of Roy's thumb gently circled his tip, sending a shiver up his spine and making him whimper. When he felt Roy grasp him fully his hips bucked into the warm hand.

**-R-**

When Ed made that first thrust into his palm, Roy almost came right then and there.

_Jesus! I almost hair triggered! God just LOOK at him! So Fucking Beautiful!_

Ed's whole body arched as Roy began sliding a hand along his cock. He watched as Ed's muscles tensed with each thrust, sweat collecting on his brow and panting harshly.

_I could come just by watching him!_

The sensation of Ed's cock sliding deliciously in his palm as he fucked Roy's hand along with each harsh brush of his hips against Roy's erection sent him to the edge.

As Roy slid his hand to the base of the boy's cock he suddenly felt Ed's flesh hand on his, grasping tightly and squeezing his hand to stop the motion. Shaking and breathing unevenly, Ed leaned forward and hungrily kissed him. It was all teeth and tongue and it was AMAZING! Ed slowly pulled back and looked into his eyes grinning and then…

And then Ed pulled both their hands away from his cock, shoving him backwards onto the floor and grinding his erection into Roy's.

_Holy Shit!_

Roy arched into Ed and came screaming his name.

**-E-**

The sensations of rubbing against Roy's bare stomach made him come immediately, spilling himself between them. Panting, he looked down at the vision that lay beneath him. Roy's lips were bruised from their last kiss, face flushed, hair mused and sticking to his face with sweat and utterly…

"Gorgeous" Ed let slip out in a whisper.

**-R-**

Roy reached up brushing Ed's hair from his face.

"I was thinking the same thing" he said smiling as Ed blushed a deep crimson. He pulled Ed down for another kiss. His emotions for the younger man making his heart swell in his chest almost painfully as he slid his fingers through silken strands, never wanting the moment to end.

Ed pulled away, still panting from his release. He laid head on Roy's outstretched arm, one of his automail fingers gently drawing lazy circles around Roy's nipple. A wonderfully comfortable silence fell over them.

Of course he knew with Ed the silence would not have much of a fighting chance.

"A date's kind of cheesy, don't you think?" Ed mused

Tipping his head to the right, he looked into golden eyes, "I don't think so. It could be fun. You never know."

Adorable pouting lips responded indignantly. "I'm not a girl; I don't like crap like that."

_God, I just want to kiss him senseless._

Laughing "I'm fully aware you are not a girl…you are most definitely not a girl." He paused a moment, "I've never been with a guy, so I don't really know what to do."

"You seemed to know what you were doing just now." Ed said with an evil smile.

"Ah!" He bent his elbow to pull Ed forward, wanting to feel the small form against his side, "I really wasn't thinking about it one way or the other. I just did what felt right at the moment."

Ed frowned and raised himself up on his elbow pulling away slightly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Seeing the concerned look on his face he hastily responded, "I mean, I didn't know what to do in a situation like that, so I did what I would have liked. I just wanted you to feel good."

"What you would have liked?" Ed smiled deviously, leaning back towards him and sliding his automail hand down Roy's' stomach to cup his crotch.

Roy inhaled sharply, surprised to find he was hard again.

_That's not possible._

Ed seemed surprised by what his hand found as well, because his eyebrows went up to hide in his bangs.

"I don't know-" he began, flustered by his body's needy reaction to his new lover's touch.

Ed grinned, "Well, that's encouraging." He leaned in to kiss Roy long and slow, whispering into Roy's mouth, "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."

His eyes widened with shock, "You do?"

_When the hell?_

"Sure, just sit back and enjoy the ride." Ed grinned at him.

**-E-**

Now that he had calmed down some, he was easily able to unbutton Roy's pants with one hand while trailing kisses slowly down his body, stopping to lap his tongue in his bellybutton and tasting his own salty fluids on Roy's skin. Dark, heavily lidded eyes watched him and flushed lips began to pant as he lightly trailed his fingertips along the edge of Roy's waistband. He paused momentarily to draw tiny circles on Roy's defined hips with his thumbs before slipping his fingers under the band and making the very same panting lips gasp suddenly, as he jerked Roy's pants down to his knees.

Looking down, he watched Roy's penis wave at him happily with its abrupt release from the fabric prison. Grinning, Ed took a moment to remove the pants completely and toss them unceremoniously away. Then wanting desperately to feel Roy's flesh on his, removed his own clothes and slid his naked body slowly up, feeling himself grow hard again as Roy's erection slid merrily along his toned stomach and finally bumped up against his own cock.

Roy arched up, rubbing his warm skin deliciously against him, sending an electric shockwave of sensation throughout his body as his penis brushed through Roy's wiry pubic hair.

**-R-**

He was surprised how gentle and laid back Ed was this time, when moments before he had been so demanding.

Roy ran his palms up the hard muscles of his back, the sensation entirely different from a woman and all together more satisfying. Wanting to touch the small form above him with every part of his body he slid his legs slowly up. He found the strange combination of his right leg brushing against smooth cool metal and his left on flesh and muscle exciting and wholly Edward.

Sliding his hands back down and around he cupped Ed's ass, massaging the small cheeks as he felt the nip of teeth on his shoulder followed by a generous lap of tongue. A long slow moan released itself from Ed vibrating them and making him want more contact.

Relinquishing his grasp on one of his captives, he slipped his hand between them grasping both of their cocks in his hand. Ed gasped sending a rush of air over the moist skin he had been paying complement to with his lips, making Roy shiver with pleasure. He felt Ed reach down and grasp his hand as he had done before but instead of removing his hand he urged Roy's slowly up and down along both of their shafts.

The small warm hand on his, guiding their movements, made everything extremely real all of the sudden.

Ed's golden head rose and their eyes locked. He had never felt so connected to anyone in his life. Suddenly he knew that he loved this beautiful creature and he would never be able to love anyone else ever again.

**-E-**

The look in Roy's eyes startled him. He knew that look but he never expected to see it in this man's eyes.

"Edward" Roy whispered as Ed's heart fluttered in his chest and he felt his face heat up in what he knew was a violent red blush.

Bending down he captured Roy's lips that he had quickly come to love with his. Dancing their tongues together in his mouth, he took his time to relish the feeling before he pulled away slightly. Roy tried to follow, whimpering with his loss as Ed whispered back "I love you too."

Roy froze, eyes wide with shock, and then smiled as he embraced Ed, pulling him down and holding him tight.

Ed wrapped his body around Roy as he rested his head on a broad shoulder.

"I love you, Edward Elric"

"I know" he whispered as he smiled happily.

**---**

**END**

* * *

**I hope that was a good Lemon it was my first!!! It had a little too much fluff but hey **_**shrug**_** what ya gonna do? XD**

**Once again… Review Review Review!!**** If you do this I just might write a bonus chapter!!! YAY for bribery!!! ****- KrisKenshin**


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